Refined by Fire

Today we met with the orthotist who gave us the great news that all of the hard work for the helmet is done. Her head shape is exactly where we want it and all subsequent work will be strictly maintenance. It’s all down hill from here folks!

When the orthotist told us this we fell silent. He urged us, “You should be excited!” My lack of response was more due to shock. I mean, it has been 5 months but… wow! Can it really be this simple, this easy? Apparently it can. 7mm of head growth since the surgery, nothing is stopping this girl.

Maggie also had her follow up with the plastic surgeon. It really could not have gone better. Maggie had her soft casts removed to reveal her Spock hands, and the surgeon was extremely pleased with her progress noting that her healing was a couple days ahead of schedule. He rewrapped her hands without the fiberglass splints and asked that we return in a couple weeks to see him. In the meantime we will be doing the rewrapping ourselves.

Talk about an interesting task to accomplish as a couple. High stress, dealing with our child’s blood and stitches (Did I mention I got dizzy and nauseous at her appointment today? Heh), and keeping our daughters precious digits safe and sanitary. Yeah, this was not in our marriage preparation course and we sure didn’t get this manual at Maggie’s birth.

Speaking frankly, taking care of Maggie’s needs as a couple has been a challenge and a blessing. For instance, figuring out how to wash her hair, how best to get her helmet on, and the latest, how to administer nasty bubblegum flavored antibiotics. All of these situations provided stressful moments but the antibiotics was by far the most difficult and enlightening task.

In the hospital the nurses had administered the medicine quickly and efficiently without causing too much irritation to Maggie. Well, we got home and Maggie flipped the switch. She wasn’t having it. She saw us coming and stuck out her tongue and started blowing raspberries. When we finally succeeded in our efforts she choked and gagged.

Carlos and I were huffing and puffing in exasperation. I was the one administering the medicine and I couldn’t take it anymore. “I feel like I am failing and I feel like you think I am doing a horrible job!” Carlos’ response, “I felt like you were blaming me.” It was enlightening.

In our silence we both expected that the other was condemning; we felt helpless and frustrated at the circumstances. We simultaneously had the same feelings and yet we couldn’t have felt more distant from one another. With everything out in the open it was easier to see that silence was our enemy, not each other.

The next four days of administering medicine morning, noon, and night provided more opportunities for teamwork, now without the fear of judgement. We discovered how to give the medicine slowly while distracting Maggie. When we reached the final dose I realized that what had begun as a thorn in our side had now become a joy. We were participating in our daughter’s healing and receiving a healing in our marriage too.

Growth and healing in the midst of suffering. This can only be God’s hand. To take what is painful and turn it into a soothing balm. I hope that through these experiences our family can live in imitation of the scriptures from today’s readings.

“As gold in the furnace, he proved them, and as sacrificial offerings he took them to himself.”

Wisdom 3:5

I pray that in these hardships we are refined, that the lies that lurk in our hearts are burnt away so our love can be more radiant. I pray that our family embrace fully this pilgrimage and that at the end He takes us to Himself.